Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
The National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association says: Support your right to bare arms!
Oh well oh well..so here we stand, but we stand for nothing. My heart calls to me in my sleep, how can I turn to it? ‘cuz I'm all locked up in the DARK place.. -- Dmb
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck
“The Sun is a stunningly mediocre star, but it is our star and we love it.” -- Astronomy Prof Balbus
How many meters in a meter stick? -- Amy, in physics class
Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers. -- Leonard Brandwein
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. -- Solomon Short
Shannon: What do bones taste like, Steffi? Steffi, age 3: Bones.
What one fool can do, another can. -- Ancient Simian Proverb
Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis - a good hot cup of coffee. -- Alexander King
Winter nights were made for warm snuggles and warmer hearts. -- Anonymous
You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television. -- Fred Allen
“If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?” -- Holly
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. -- Neil Armstrong
CONTROVERSY, n. A battle in which spittle or ink replaces the injurious cannon-ball and the inconsiderate bayonet. -- Ambrose Bierce
Success is just a matter of attitude. -- Darcy E. Gibbons
Jon: “How come all the girls go out with the dorks?” Me: “Maybe WE'RE the dorks!”
We can say ‘Peace on Earth,’ we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be. -- Betty Shabazz
Garbage In -- Gospel Out.
“A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.” -- attributed to Albert Einstein
Joe's sister puts spaghetti in her shoes!
“Wow, beer bubbles are heavy.” -- Jen, after blowing a bubble off the neck of a beer bottle and watching it plummet to the floor.
Neil, are you going to make me dinner or am I going to have to kick your teeth in? -- Vivian
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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