Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. -- Charlie Parker
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. -- Bank Of America Tech Support
“Beware of silent men and still water” -- Ali Raza
“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” -- Woody Allen
“Unfortunately, you all scored very well on the last exam. This won't be the case for the next one. My goal is to drive the grades DOWN.” -- Mr. Milotz, high school physics teacher.
[In Spanish Class] Sra. Ward: Javier, why are you talking? Javier: I wasn't! (He was.) Sra. Ward: Do you have a TV?
Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
“A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.” -- Prof. Steiner
An artist discovers his genius the day he dares not to please. -- Andre Malraux
“As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs -- a process that traditionally requires some debugging.” --- USA Today, referring to the IRS switchover to a new computer system.
“Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.” -- Ken Dodd
What is the purpose of the giant sequoia tree? The purpose of the giant sequoia tree is to provide shade for the tiny titmouse. -- Edward Abbey
You don't know what its like waking up in bed with TWO of your brother's friends.... -- me, after a passing out playing video games
Brain, n.: The apparatus with which we think that we think. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. -- Ambrose Bierce
“A witty saying proves nothing.” -- Voltaire
The girl who can't dance says the band can't play. -- Yiddish Proverb
One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. -- G. K. Chesterton
Oliver's Law: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Among a hundred men there is one who can think, but only one among a thousand can see. -- John Ruskin
A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever. -- J. Hawes
“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.” -- Ogden Nash
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -- Mae West
“When all your dreams turn to dust... VACUUM!!” -- Sign above a vacuum repair shop.
The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise. -- George Santayana
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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