Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle. -- Molly Ivins
“I have found you an argument: but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.” -- Samuel Johnson
“I think something's wrong with the washing machine. The clothes just keep going around and around, but no water is coming out.” -- Michele, after putting all her clothes and detergent in the dryer.
I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it. -- Steven Wright
And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. -- Grandma Moses
I love you. You bring me cheese. May God be with you, my child. -- A drunken Kate, after a friend brought her string cheese.
Look out! Behind you!
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. -- Charles Caleb Colton
Dort, wo man Bucher verbrennt, verbrennt man am Ende auch Menschen. (Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings.) -- Heinrich Heine, “Almansor (1821)”
“I should like to be a horse.” -- Queen Elizabeth II - when asked about her ambitions as a child.
“Jeez, Sarah? You're NOT gonna die.... and if you do, there'll be more room in the car.” -- Jennifer, upon getting terribly frustrated with her friend Sarah's melodramatic nature.
“I'd love to go out with you, but there are important world issues that need worrying about.”
A handful of friends is worth more than a wagon of gold.
“I've had people lick MY eyeball... by accident.” -- Mel
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails? -- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo
It is very difficult to prophesy, especially when it pertains to the future.
Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm. -- Frank Dane
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” -- Mark Twain
Sometimes, you hit the bar, and saometimes, the bar hits you -- Jeffrey Lebowski Aka
“im hungry. lets got get a taco <br>Mr. Pink: Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?<br> Joe: Because your a faggot, alright -- Resevoir Dogs
It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds. -- Aesop
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. -- Ted Williams
Sleep walking throught the all night drugstore, baptized in flourescent light. I found religion in the greeting card aisle, and now I know Hallmark was right. -- Ani Difranco
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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