Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. -- Anonymous
Could you possibly be any stupider? Of course you -- oh, nevermind. You were right. -- overheard in a high school hallway
Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. -- Rudyard Kipling
“Fuck me he cleared it” -- Robin Hood
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.” -- Brian Pickrell
8-year-old Molly: Mommie I have a headache. Mommie: Oh, I'm sorry. Why do you have a headache? 8-year-old Molly: I don't know. It's winter. Maybe I am allergic to falling down in the snow.
Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
Mere colour, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways. -- Oscar Wilde
“Why does the Justice Brandeis statue, which is made of malleable metal, represent ‘Truth?’ Does this mean that the truth is bendable?” -- S.D. Gage
Boss, n.: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the words “boss” and “botch” were largely synonymous, except that boss, in addition to meaning “a supervisor of workers” also meant “an ornamental stud.”
Quality Control, n.: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
“Many a young lady does not realize just how strong her love for a young man is until he fails to pass the approval test with her parents.”
“Will you go out with me? I want to see if I'm a lesbian.” -- Aurora-Christine, after her friend told her about not knowing if she was a lesbian.
“This was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks -- to have a system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed; no machines, no wires, no controls.” -- Michael Swanwick, “Vacuum Flowers”
COMMENT Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania. -- Dorothy Parker
I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them! -- Dogma
“That girl's so skinny, she'd have to stand up twice to make a shadow!” -- Jean Williams, about a co-worker.
“Yeah, thrust all the responsibility on the woman why don't you?” -- Ellie, the only female in the room.
Sleep is for wimps. Happy, healthy, well-rested wimps, but wimps nonetheless.
Every major street in Austin has to have at least four names, or we don't feel comfortable. -- An Austin resident, explaining the road-naming scheme there.
The only thing we have to fear is fear it'self - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance -- Fdr - First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933
“MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts.” -- Winston Churchill
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
“To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question ... or is it?”
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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