Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you. -- Oscar Wilde
“Why would you eat an egg?” -- Mary, during the Super Bowl
“Heaven is just like here, except they put on plays and stuff.” -- Ron B., Boston College
I have Pledge all over my feet. Now all I have to do is walk on my furniture and it'll be dusted. -- Karen
“You can't burn me! I'm unique” -- Mr. Bradford, my school chemistry teacher.
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. -- Proverbs 21:9
Humanity rages like a tempest, but I sigh in silence for I know the storm must pass away while a sigh goes to god. -- Kahlil Gibran, “A Poet's Voice”
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
Mere colour, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways. -- Oscar Wilde
“Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your home.” -- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
The teacher, if indeed wise, does not bid you to enter the house of their wisdom, but leads you to the threshold of your own mind. -- Kahlil Gibran
The street finds its own uses for technology; the net finds its own uses for garbage.
“Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.” -- Gene Spafford
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” -- Isadora Duncan
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. -- Frank Llyod Wright
One eye sees, the other feels. -- Paul Klee
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.
“What luck for the rulers that men do not think.” -- Adolf Hitler
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
“I turned the lights off because you guys all look less ugly that way.” -- Mr. Atkins, high school English teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. -- Flannery O'Connor
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. -- Albert Einstein
It is better never to have been born. But who among us has such luck? One in a million, perhaps.
Josh (confused): Are you on drugs or something? Allyson (laughing hysterically for no apparent reason): Nope! Don't need ‘em!
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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