Q2 Quotes Database
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Themes
Updates
3/5/2009 - Quotes removed
2 quotes have been removed from the database.
7/8/2007 - Internal optimisation
The codebase has been optimised to speed up site access, and to make scripted access to this site simpler.
13/7/2007 - Some irrelevant quotes removed
20-30 quotes that relate to programming and operating systems have been removed because they probably aren't relevant to most people.
6/7/2007 - Minor correction
A minor correction has been made to the quotes database.
29/6/2007 - Theme bug fixed
A minor bug in the One theme has been fixed.
21/6/2007 - 1000 new quotes
1000+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database.
18/6/2007 - 900 new quotes, tweaks to site
900+ new quotes have been added to the Q2 Quotes Database. The site design and backend have been tweaked too.
11/6/2007 - Search box added
A search box has been added to each page if you're using the Simple or Bash.org themes. If you're using the Original or Lo-Fi theme then there's a Search link at the top of each page. The search results page has had a new coat of paint too.
7/6/2007 - Theme bugfix
Another bug in the theme code has been fixed. That'll teach me to test fully ;). Everything should be just fine and dandy now!
5/6/2007 - New theme, theme bugfix
The default theme has been changed from Original to Simple'n Clean, but there was a bug in the theme code that sometimes showed the new theme only on the home page, and showing the old theme on the other pages. This has been fixed. Also, there is a fresh new theme called One! Just select "One" from the drop-down above to select the new theme.
30/5/2007 - Formatting error fixed
Spaces at the beginning and end of quotes have been removed. E.g. " blah, blah, blah " -> "blah, blah, blah". The quotes in the full text have been randomly sorted again too. Also, the random quotes generater will not add a newline to the ends of quotes anymore.
The Q2 database is a collection of over 11000 funny/proverbial quotes. More...
Here's some randomly chosen quotes from the collection:
Jone's Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used. -- Herbert von Fritzlar
“NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.” -- George Bernard Shaw, “The Man of Destiny”
It should be illegal to play music containing sirens on the radio. -- Matthew, after pulling to the side of the road to make way for a nonexistant ambulance.
It is very simple to play as fool! You don't have to prove nothing. -- Catalin Sorescu
A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
You see sir; death is an intellectual matter, but dying is pure pain. -- John Steinbeck
“Here, here's some cocoa. Can I have the CD-ROM now?” -- Jen
If the ends don't justify the means, then what does? -- Robert Moses
When do you party ‘till if the cows are already in? -- Michelle, a former city girl who moved to the country.
PREROGATIVE, n. A sovereign's right to do wrong. -- Ambrose Bierce
It's amazing how much better you feel once you've given up hope.
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated. -- M. C. Reed.
Harvard Law: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
“I'm not bitter, just vengeful.” -- Paula
The truth is more important than the facts. -- Frank Lloyd Wright
Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass. -- Jane Bryant Quinn
They walk backwards to walk forwards. -- Devon, about historians.
You can move the world with an idea, but you have to think of it first.
It's like what they say in Buddhism....when you pee on a penny, you will come back and be a peed-on penny. -- Howard
Mr. Goldenberg: “Does anyone happen to know which country was third into World War I?” Katie: “Um, wasn't it Europe?” (She remained rather confused when the class began to laugh...)
Meader's Law: Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to everyone you know, only more so.
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days. -- W. C. Fields, “My Little Chickadee”
Which way is the ocean? -- the ever quotable Grandma E, while visiting St. Louis.
Get more here! Or get quotes other ways. Or you can even view the entire collection at once here.
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