Q2 Quotes Database
#10180
The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick. [so say said sentence sextuply...]
The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick. [so say said sentence sextuply...]
#708
Proof by accumulated evidence: Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.
Proof by accumulated evidence: Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.
#4613
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. -- James Thurber
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. -- James Thurber
#10848
The devil finds work for idle circuits to do.
The devil finds work for idle circuits to do.
#1279
Revolution is not something fixed in ideology, nor is it something fashioned to a particular decade. It is a perpetual process embedded in the human spirit. -- Abbie Hoffman
Revolution is not something fixed in ideology, nor is it something fashioned to a particular decade. It is a perpetual process embedded in the human spirit. -- Abbie Hoffman
#9837
Rome was not built in one day. -- John Heywood
Rome was not built in one day. -- John Heywood
#5123
“Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.” -- George Bernard Shaw
“Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.” -- George Bernard Shaw
#9403
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. -- Anonymous
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. -- Anonymous
#3147
A great fortune in the hands of a fool is a great misfortune. -- Anonymous
A great fortune in the hands of a fool is a great misfortune. -- Anonymous
#1165
I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. -- Walt Whitman
I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. -- Walt Whitman
#435
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed. -- Christopher Morley
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed. -- Christopher Morley
#9721
How about this for tomorrows headlines- French Fries? -- James French, shortly before execution in the electric chair
How about this for tomorrows headlines- French Fries? -- James French, shortly before execution in the electric chair
#299
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. -- Socrates
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. -- Socrates
#8799
“I don't see how people can eat shrimp cocktail! People who like it cold have never had it hot before!” -- My brother, on shrimp
“I don't see how people can eat shrimp cocktail! People who like it cold have never had it hot before!” -- My brother, on shrimp
#4099
Look, it's my misery that I have to paint this kind of painting, it's your misery that you have to love it, and the price of the misery is thirteen hundred and fifty dollars. -- Mark Rothko
Look, it's my misery that I have to paint this kind of painting, it's your misery that you have to love it, and the price of the misery is thirteen hundred and fifty dollars. -- Mark Rothko
#2083
“How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are 3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand, who could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.” -- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
“How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are 3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand, who could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.” -- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
#3337
Shannon: (after tasting something cooking on the stove) This tastes like ... like ... that sticky stuff on envelopes! Mom: Glue?
Shannon: (after tasting something cooking on the stove) This tastes like ... like ... that sticky stuff on envelopes! Mom: Glue?
#7996
The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders. -- P. J. O'Rourke
The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders. -- P. J. O'Rourke
#220
“But my tongue was hot...” -- 3-year-old Jared's response to his mother when told not to stick his tongue out at other people.
“But my tongue was hot...” -- 3-year-old Jared's response to his mother when told not to stick his tongue out at other people.
#6324
“Excuse me sir, but in the event of a crash, do these seats float?” -- Jess, asking a cabin steward if the entire SEAT (not just the cushion) would float after a crash.
“Excuse me sir, but in the event of a crash, do these seats float?” -- Jess, asking a cabin steward if the entire SEAT (not just the cushion) would float after a crash.
#2726
“The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.” -- Gustave Flaubert
“The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.” -- Gustave Flaubert
#9793
“Herb garden my eye!” -- Rando, after watching a Chia Pet Commercial
“Herb garden my eye!” -- Rando, after watching a Chia Pet Commercial
#4193
One good thing about music is when it hits you, you feel no pain. So hit me with music, burtalize me with music. -- Bob Marley
One good thing about music is when it hits you, you feel no pain. So hit me with music, burtalize me with music. -- Bob Marley
#3802
“He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave.” -- William Drummond
“He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave.” -- William Drummond
#4684
FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment. -- Ambrose Bierce
FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment. -- Ambrose Bierce
#2799
Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond -- Hypatia
Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond -- Hypatia
#102
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. -- Anthony Burgess
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. -- Anthony Burgess
#8737
“My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!” -- Henny Youngman
“My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!” -- Henny Youngman
#3527
“No, really, who is Sean Connery? Does he go to our school?” -- Tammy, after having too much Surge.
“No, really, who is Sean Connery? Does he go to our school?” -- Tammy, after having too much Surge.
#3479
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. -- Benjamin Disraeli
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. -- Benjamin Disraeli
#2613
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. -- Anonymous
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. -- Anonymous
#5563
“I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a dry martini.” -- Paul T. Baker
“I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a dry martini.” -- Paul T. Baker
#3982
“There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.” -- Seen on a bumper sticker
“There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.” -- Seen on a bumper sticker
#3951
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. -- Bertrand Russell
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. -- Bertrand Russell
#1567
“A dirty mind is a joy forever.” -- Randy Kunkee
“A dirty mind is a joy forever.” -- Randy Kunkee
#10432
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. -- Aeschylus
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. -- Aeschylus
#8748
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog. -- Anonymous
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog. -- Anonymous
#7043
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. -- Anonymous
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. -- Anonymous
#2801
Nine megs for the secretaries fair, Seven megs for the hackers scarce, Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs, Three megs for system source; One disk to rule them all, One disk to bind them, One disk to hold the files And in the darkness grind ‘em.
Nine megs for the secretaries fair, Seven megs for the hackers scarce, Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs, Three megs for system source; One disk to rule them all, One disk to bind them, One disk to hold the files And in the darkness grind ‘em.
#719
Aaron: Man, I hate the letter “S”! Eric: Why? Aaron: ‘Cause it's hard to write!
Aaron: Man, I hate the letter “S”! Eric: Why? Aaron: ‘Cause it's hard to write!
#30
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
#5966
“She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.” -- Gypsy Rose Lee
“She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.” -- Gypsy Rose Lee
#4878
Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. -- motto of the Christopher Society
Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. -- motto of the Christopher Society
#7895
“Just get on your hands and knees and blow.” -- Jenny's advice on how to move the croquet ball to a more desirable location
“Just get on your hands and knees and blow.” -- Jenny's advice on how to move the croquet ball to a more desirable location
#1386
Did you know that if you play the New Kids On The Block record backwards, it actually sounds better. -- Bill Hicks
Did you know that if you play the New Kids On The Block record backwards, it actually sounds better. -- Bill Hicks
#8319
“If I would be saying that to you, I would be fabricating to you.” -- John J. Dadonna, Superintendent of Schools
“If I would be saying that to you, I would be fabricating to you.” -- John J. Dadonna, Superintendent of Schools
#6660
-- Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
-- Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
#9247
“Sizzy needs a dose of medicine, a bug in her eye, a stop and go light on her cheek, And she can't play with Angela, Angela, Angela!” -- Ellie's brother, age 4, singing to Ellie, age 7, when she was sick.
“Sizzy needs a dose of medicine, a bug in her eye, a stop and go light on her cheek, And she can't play with Angela, Angela, Angela!” -- Ellie's brother, age 4, singing to Ellie, age 7, when she was sick.
#4104
Love changes, a thug changes, and best friends become strangers..... -- Nas
Love changes, a thug changes, and best friends become strangers..... -- Nas
#9611
You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
#4686
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear. -- Alan Corenk
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear. -- Alan Corenk
#3723
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
#3136
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. -- Anonymous
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. -- Anonymous
#9001
“Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.” -- Bo Belinsky - Baseball pitcher
“Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.” -- Bo Belinsky - Baseball pitcher
#5793
Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp--or what's a heaven for? -- Robert Browning
Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp--or what's a heaven for? -- Robert Browning
#4961
San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was. -- Herb Caen
San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was. -- Herb Caen
#3487
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
#6213
Devon: That's a cheap way to get a feel. Matt: What's a good way?
Devon: That's a cheap way to get a feel. Matt: What's a good way?
#9032
Amanda: Do you think that guy on TV is cute? Mom: Well... he's okay, but he's no Mel Gibson. Amanda: Mom, nobody is Mel Gibson. Except Harrison Ford!
Amanda: Do you think that guy on TV is cute? Mom: Well... he's okay, but he's no Mel Gibson. Amanda: Mom, nobody is Mel Gibson. Except Harrison Ford!
#5917
“God is not ridiculous!” -- Ann, in response to some of the stupid stuff her church committee was coming up with.
“God is not ridiculous!” -- Ann, in response to some of the stupid stuff her church committee was coming up with.
#6646
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
#743
“When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored.” -- Eric Hoffer
“When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored.” -- Eric Hoffer
#2762
“In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -- Bertrand Russell
“In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -- Bertrand Russell
#1738
Whenever I see a Frans Hals I feel like painting, but when I see a Rembrandt I feel like giving up! -- Max Liebermann
Whenever I see a Frans Hals I feel like painting, but when I see a Rembrandt I feel like giving up! -- Max Liebermann
#2361
“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.”
“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.”
#4135
Remembering is for those who have forgotten. -- Chinese proverb
Remembering is for those who have forgotten. -- Chinese proverb
#8237
“There's a technological breakthrough on your left elbow” -- Ellie (Don't ask.)
“There's a technological breakthrough on your left elbow” -- Ellie (Don't ask.)
#3673
“A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.” -- George Bernard Shaw
“A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.” -- George Bernard Shaw
#791
I'll grant the random access to my heart, Thoul't tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove And in our bound partition never part. -- Stanislaw Lem, “Cyberiad”
I'll grant the random access to my heart, Thoul't tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove And in our bound partition never part. -- Stanislaw Lem, “Cyberiad”
#11369
“FLOOR IT! KILL FASTER!” -- “Uncle” Ben yelling at a speeder who cut us off.
“FLOOR IT! KILL FASTER!” -- “Uncle” Ben yelling at a speeder who cut us off.
#4663
“Hey baby, I'll give you the best night of my life!” -- Me experiencing a brain typo
“Hey baby, I'll give you the best night of my life!” -- Me experiencing a brain typo
#1409
Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes. -- Norman Douglas
Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes. -- Norman Douglas
#2960
How many meters in a meter stick? -- Amy, in physics class
How many meters in a meter stick? -- Amy, in physics class
#2429
“Fools admire, but men of sense approve.” -- Alexander Pope
“Fools admire, but men of sense approve.” -- Alexander Pope
#9634
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. -- Buckminster Fuller
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. -- Buckminster Fuller
#7629
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
#4289
Tyro: Yes. There are four condoms. Cher: You two can have sex with me two times each! Tyro: Sorry, I have respect for Rando. (pause) Rando: Two for me, none for you!
Tyro: Yes. There are four condoms. Cher: You two can have sex with me two times each! Tyro: Sorry, I have respect for Rando. (pause) Rando: Two for me, none for you!
#8862
Deborah: “See, I filled a bottle with water and put it in the freezer and now I can use it to ice my knee!” Dena: “Why didn't you just get an ice pack?” Deborah: “Because you can't drink an ice pack when it melts.”
Deborah: “See, I filled a bottle with water and put it in the freezer and now I can use it to ice my knee!” Dena: “Why didn't you just get an ice pack?” Deborah: “Because you can't drink an ice pack when it melts.”
#8293
“America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.” -- Arnold Toynbee
“America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.” -- Arnold Toynbee
#3771
An administration, like a machine, does not create. It carries on. -- Saint-Exupery
An administration, like a machine, does not create. It carries on. -- Saint-Exupery
#6125
I who have been involved with all styles of painting can assure you that the only things that fluctuate are the waves of fashion which carry the snobs and speculators; the number of true connoisseurs remains more or less the same. -- Pablo Picasso
I who have been involved with all styles of painting can assure you that the only things that fluctuate are the waves of fashion which carry the snobs and speculators; the number of true connoisseurs remains more or less the same. -- Pablo Picasso
#4234
Your fortune stateth: Reply hazy, ask again later.
Your fortune stateth: Reply hazy, ask again later.
#8918
What do I think about when I strike out? I think about hitting home runs. -- Babe Ruth
What do I think about when I strike out? I think about hitting home runs. -- Babe Ruth
#4583
“The chief enemy of creativity is ‘good’ taste.” -- Pablo Picasso
“The chief enemy of creativity is ‘good’ taste.” -- Pablo Picasso
#2767
ADORE, v.t. To venerate expectantly. -- Ambrose Bierce
ADORE, v.t. To venerate expectantly. -- Ambrose Bierce
#7951
Your fortune stateth: Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
Your fortune stateth: Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
#1285
We shall not capitulate... no never. We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us... a world in flames. -- Adolf Hitler
We shall not capitulate... no never. We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us... a world in flames. -- Adolf Hitler
#632
“Yes! The sad pathetic mutiny-inducing puppy face worked!” -- Ellie
“Yes! The sad pathetic mutiny-inducing puppy face worked!” -- Ellie
#7820
Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put water into a teapot, and it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash! Be water, my friend. -- Bruce Lee, TAO of Jeet Kune Do
Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put water into a teapot, and it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash! Be water, my friend. -- Bruce Lee, TAO of Jeet Kune Do
#7556
I loved the way she said “LA”; I love the way everybody says “LA” on the Coast; it's their one and only golden town when all is said and done. -- Jack Kerouac
I loved the way she said “LA”; I love the way everybody says “LA” on the Coast; it's their one and only golden town when all is said and done. -- Jack Kerouac
#6293
Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
#11355
It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on. -- CS Lewis, “A Grief Observed”
It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on. -- CS Lewis, “A Grief Observed”
#4937
Your fortune stateth: Go to a movie tonight. Darkness becomes you.
Your fortune stateth: Go to a movie tonight. Darkness becomes you.
#11047
Menu, n.: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.
Menu, n.: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.
#9785
Have a nice day!
Have a nice day!
#2830
“Never judge a book by its movie.” -- J.W. Eagan
“Never judge a book by its movie.” -- J.W. Eagan
#2228
-- Eleemosynary deeds have their initial incidence intramurally.
-- Eleemosynary deeds have their initial incidence intramurally.
#896
You guys should teach your cats what to do if you have a heart attack. [short pause.] You know, right as I said that, I realized I just got a glass full of ice but forgot to put water in it. -- Andy
You guys should teach your cats what to do if you have a heart attack. [short pause.] You know, right as I said that, I realized I just got a glass full of ice but forgot to put water in it. -- Andy
#9527
Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives. -- Chuck Palahniuk
Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives. -- Chuck Palahniuk
#6923
Please! Just one drag on your cigarrette and I'll turn into Fabio for you, c'mon, just one drag. No drag, no Fabio for you. -- Jesse, in a drunken nicotine-craving state.
Please! Just one drag on your cigarrette and I'll turn into Fabio for you, c'mon, just one drag. No drag, no Fabio for you. -- Jesse, in a drunken nicotine-craving state.
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