Q2 Quotes Database
#1114
“My teeth itch!” -- Jason, to a waitress after a long night of imbibing, when she asked “How's eveything here?”
“My teeth itch!” -- Jason, to a waitress after a long night of imbibing, when she asked “How's eveything here?”
#1056
Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterward.
Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterward.
#3898
Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing. -- Roy L. Ash, ex-president Litton Industries
Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing. -- Roy L. Ash, ex-president Litton Industries
#2788
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. -- George Bernard Shaw
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. -- George Bernard Shaw
#5720
Life -- Love It or Leave It.
Life -- Love It or Leave It.
#3192
“Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.” -- Frank Zappa
“Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.” -- Frank Zappa
#6471
“I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS HAS MADE IT ALL CLEAR TO ME.” -- J. Nairn
“I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS HAS MADE IT ALL CLEAR TO ME.” -- J. Nairn
#3719
It's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing.
#4816
“What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.” -- Dave Barry
“What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.” -- Dave Barry
#7396
“Some books are to be tasted; others swallowed; and some to be chewed and digested.” -- Francis Bacon
“Some books are to be tasted; others swallowed; and some to be chewed and digested.” -- Francis Bacon
#1872
Your fortune stateth: You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
Your fortune stateth: You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
#1172
You can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding decisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left over for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart. -- F. Allen
You can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding decisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left over for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart. -- F. Allen
#10199
“Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all.” -- Henry David Thoreau
“Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all.” -- Henry David Thoreau
#3404
The only reason people get into accidents while driving drunk is because they don't practice it enough. -- Tina K.
The only reason people get into accidents while driving drunk is because they don't practice it enough. -- Tina K.
#10473
By the year 2050, I do not know what language we will be speaking in the United States, but it will be called English and will sound alot like Spanish. -- Mark A. Trevino
By the year 2050, I do not know what language we will be speaking in the United States, but it will be called English and will sound alot like Spanish. -- Mark A. Trevino
#3792
“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” -- John Adams
“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” -- John Adams
#4186
Parkinson's Fifth Law: If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
Parkinson's Fifth Law: If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
#7682
Shawn: “You are the coolst girl!’ Heidi: “The what?” Shawn: “The coolst! Heidi: “It's the coolest, not coolst!”
Shawn: “You are the coolst girl!’ Heidi: “The what?” Shawn: “The coolst! Heidi: “It's the coolest, not coolst!”
#10398
“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” -- Napoleon Bonaparte
“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” -- Napoleon Bonaparte
#11055
Security check: INTRUDER ALERT!
Security check: INTRUDER ALERT!
#553
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
#7448
“The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.” -- James Arthur Baldwin
“The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.” -- James Arthur Baldwin
#9307
It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half of the evils we antipicate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what might happen. -- Herodotus
It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half of the evils we antipicate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what might happen. -- Herodotus
#9071
If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance.
If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance.
#8667
I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life. -- Jhonen Vasquez
I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life. -- Jhonen Vasquez
#8589
While Provolt and Shawn were on a midnight cruise of town... Manager of Bill's Super Value: “Okay, boys, what have you done with the turkeys?” After the manager had left: Provolt: “What did he think we did? Shove ‘em up our shirts?”
While Provolt and Shawn were on a midnight cruise of town... Manager of Bill's Super Value: “Okay, boys, what have you done with the turkeys?” After the manager had left: Provolt: “What did he think we did? Shove ‘em up our shirts?”
#8655
To be is to do. -- I. Kant To do is to be. -- A. Sartre Yabba-Dabba-Doo! -- F. Flinstone
To be is to do. -- I. Kant To do is to be. -- A. Sartre Yabba-Dabba-Doo! -- F. Flinstone
#7748
“When in doubt, tell the truth.” -- Mark Twain
“When in doubt, tell the truth.” -- Mark Twain
#10307
Art is the most intense mode of invidualism that the world has known. -- Oscar Wilde
Art is the most intense mode of invidualism that the world has known. -- Oscar Wilde
#1601
Fate is an open road, and all you can do is put your foot on the gas and Drive, Baby Drive. -- Padraig Flynn
Fate is an open road, and all you can do is put your foot on the gas and Drive, Baby Drive. -- Padraig Flynn
#7941
“The art of government is the organization of idolatry.” -- George Bernard Shaw
“The art of government is the organization of idolatry.” -- George Bernard Shaw
#1890
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson
#6929
I'm 15, and my hormones are flying, flying! -- B. Francey
I'm 15, and my hormones are flying, flying! -- B. Francey
#2977
I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work. -- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989
I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work. -- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989
#7684
“Guacamole!” -- Jason
“Guacamole!” -- Jason
#11218
“The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.” -- Hungarian proverb
“The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.” -- Hungarian proverb
#3005
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -- George Benard Shaw
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -- George Benard Shaw
#8146
“I will require sufficient beer to process this effectively.” -- me after seeing my web search return 2000+ entries.
“I will require sufficient beer to process this effectively.” -- me after seeing my web search return 2000+ entries.
#4708
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey-cage. -- H.L.Menken
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey-cage. -- H.L.Menken
#3228
“Cream rises to the top. So does fat.” -- Kelvin Throop III
“Cream rises to the top. So does fat.” -- Kelvin Throop III
#7815
“Anyone who doesn't acknowledge you hasn't advanced beyond the notochord stage.” -- Mario
“Anyone who doesn't acknowledge you hasn't advanced beyond the notochord stage.” -- Mario
#11130
Biography lends to death a new terror. -- Oscar Wilde
Biography lends to death a new terror. -- Oscar Wilde
#5821
Good writing can be defined as having something to say and saying it well. When one has nothing to say, one should remain silent. Silence is always beautiful at such times. -- Edward Abbey
Good writing can be defined as having something to say and saying it well. When one has nothing to say, one should remain silent. Silence is always beautiful at such times. -- Edward Abbey
#1878
The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some. -- Dwight MacDonald
The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some. -- Dwight MacDonald
#2232
I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day. -- Albert Camus
I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day. -- Albert Camus
#4475
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
#6552
The Jews, the Muslims and the Christians, They've all got it wrong. The people of the world only divide into two kinds, One sort with brains who hold no religion, The other with religion and no brain. -- Abu-al-Ala al-Marri, 10th century Syrian poet
The Jews, the Muslims and the Christians, They've all got it wrong. The people of the world only divide into two kinds, One sort with brains who hold no religion, The other with religion and no brain. -- Abu-al-Ala al-Marri, 10th century Syrian poet
#5525
From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain. -- Bene Gesserit proverb, “Dune”
From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain. -- Bene Gesserit proverb, “Dune”
#3516
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
#5234
“Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.” -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.” -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
#2053
Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME. -- Anonymous
Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME. -- Anonymous
#10611
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. -- John Ciardi
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. -- John Ciardi
#1217
“I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.” -- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
“I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.” -- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
#5170
George Orwell was an optimist.
George Orwell was an optimist.
#6347
I really don't care about nothing at all, but I think the world of you -- All , “I Think The World”
I really don't care about nothing at all, but I think the world of you -- All , “I Think The World”
#2489
Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room! -- Dr. Strangelove
Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room! -- Dr. Strangelove
#808
“A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.” -- Greg Travis, comedian
“A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.” -- Greg Travis, comedian
#4804
Karen: “I'm fking poor!” Paul: “Well, it's better to be fking poor than not to be fking at all.”
Karen: “I'm fking poor!” Paul: “Well, it's better to be fking poor than not to be fking at all.”
#1784
“What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.” -- Bertrand Russell
“What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.” -- Bertrand Russell
#10658
Given sufficient time, what you put off doing today will get done by itself.
Given sufficient time, what you put off doing today will get done by itself.
#1390
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. -- Anonymous
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. -- Anonymous
#742
You don't know what its like waking up in bed with TWO of your brother's friends.... -- me, after a passing out playing video games
You don't know what its like waking up in bed with TWO of your brother's friends.... -- me, after a passing out playing video games
#9953
Have an adequate day.
Have an adequate day.
#1449
“you dont now me, you just ment me, you wont let me, well if i couldnt have it..silly rabbit why ya sweet me” -- Tupac
“you dont now me, you just ment me, you wont let me, well if i couldnt have it..silly rabbit why ya sweet me” -- Tupac
#3884
T leven is geen krijmkar he -- Belgian proverb
T leven is geen krijmkar he -- Belgian proverb
#2042
Your fortune stateth: Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Your fortune stateth: Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
#6315
“Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.” -- Anonymous
“Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.” -- Anonymous
#3956
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
#10480
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. -- Oscar Wilde
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. -- Oscar Wilde
#7335
A young girl, Carmen Cohen, was called by her last name by her father, and her first name by her mother. By the time she was ten, didn't know if she was Carmen or Cohen.
A young girl, Carmen Cohen, was called by her last name by her father, and her first name by her mother. By the time she was ten, didn't know if she was Carmen or Cohen.
#9859
“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” -- W. Somerset Maugham
“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” -- W. Somerset Maugham
#2837
“The Earth goes around the Sun, and is mercifully not accreted.” -- Astronomy Prof Balbus
“The Earth goes around the Sun, and is mercifully not accreted.” -- Astronomy Prof Balbus
#3106
Paul's Law: In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
Paul's Law: In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
#969
A feeling that everything must end, the music, ourselves, the moon, everything. That if you get to the heart of things you find sadness for ever and ever, everywhere; but a beautiful silver saddness, like a Christ face. -- John Fowles, “The Collector”
A feeling that everything must end, the music, ourselves, the moon, everything. That if you get to the heart of things you find sadness for ever and ever, everywhere; but a beautiful silver saddness, like a Christ face. -- John Fowles, “The Collector”
#2863
“In nature, there are neither rewards or punishments -- there are consequences.” -- Robert Green Ingersoll
“In nature, there are neither rewards or punishments -- there are consequences.” -- Robert Green Ingersoll
#9347
If we discover anti-gravity, won't we just be thrown off the face of the earth because of its rotation? -- Matt Rose
If we discover anti-gravity, won't we just be thrown off the face of the earth because of its rotation? -- Matt Rose
#2831
“The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists -- that is why they invented hell.” -- Bertrand Russell
“The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists -- that is why they invented hell.” -- Bertrand Russell
#9194
Oh, isn't he the one who asked our 7th grade math teacher where babies come from? -- Alana
Oh, isn't he the one who asked our 7th grade math teacher where babies come from? -- Alana
#9442
Yes, because they're arbitrary, except in the way that they're not arbitrary, for no reason at all. -- Matt, very sincerely.
Yes, because they're arbitrary, except in the way that they're not arbitrary, for no reason at all. -- Matt, very sincerely.
#4707
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. -- Gore Vidal
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. -- Gore Vidal
#10325
“Too bad all the people that know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” -- George Burns
“Too bad all the people that know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” -- George Burns
#7553
I like being single. I'm always there when I need me. -- Art Leo
I like being single. I'm always there when I need me. -- Art Leo
#2455
Surprise! You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit! Just type in your name and social security number. Please remember that leaving the room is punishable under law: Name #
Surprise! You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit! Just type in your name and social security number. Please remember that leaving the room is punishable under law: Name #
#7567
I believe in God like I believe in the sun rise. Not because I can see it, but because I can see all that it touches. -- C.S. Lewis
I believe in God like I believe in the sun rise. Not because I can see it, but because I can see all that it touches. -- C.S. Lewis
#9426
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you that I have signed legislation to outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.” -- Ronald Reagan - Recorded when asked to do a microphone test
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you that I have signed legislation to outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.” -- Ronald Reagan - Recorded when asked to do a microphone test
#5388
“It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.” -- June Henderson
“It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.” -- June Henderson
#5802
Ah then, would you like a beverage to complement your sandwich? -- The drive-thru guy at the Goshen Arby's, in a reallllly cheesy fake English accent.
Ah then, would you like a beverage to complement your sandwich? -- The drive-thru guy at the Goshen Arby's, in a reallllly cheesy fake English accent.
#10840
“My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.” -- George Bernard Shaw
“My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.” -- George Bernard Shaw
#2065
“If you're camping in the woods and you see something red with three leaves, don't wipe your butt with it cause it's poison ivy.” -- Michele Kuchinski
“If you're camping in the woods and you see something red with three leaves, don't wipe your butt with it cause it's poison ivy.” -- Michele Kuchinski
#1515
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. -- Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil's Dictionary”
#3227
Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. -- Henry Van Dyke
Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. -- Henry Van Dyke
#9883
Evilwill always triumph over good, because it is dumb. -- Dark Helmet
Evilwill always triumph over good, because it is dumb. -- Dark Helmet
#4932
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. -- Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. -- Anonymous
#1864
I'm looking California, but feeling Minnesota -- Soundgarden
I'm looking California, but feeling Minnesota -- Soundgarden
#6917
“Conference call! Woo-Hoo!” -- me
“Conference call! Woo-Hoo!” -- me
#3968
Time is the most valuable thing one can spend. -- Theophrastus
Time is the most valuable thing one can spend. -- Theophrastus
#5890
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference. -- Bill Hicks
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference. -- Bill Hicks
#3128
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shoc k whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president. -- Jack Handey
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shoc k whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president. -- Jack Handey
#11139
I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it. -- Benjamin Franklin
I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it. -- Benjamin Franklin
#5113
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -- George Bernard Shaw
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -- George Bernard Shaw
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